Appetite For Distraction

BIRTHDAY CAKES

2008-06-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to feature some Birthday Cakes; a few from this year and some from the past...

TOM'S BIRTHDAY CAKE
at Los Amates. Cake by Laurent.

MELISSA'S 31st BDAY
at the Retreat. Chocolate Cake with White Chocolate Mousse by Cara.

CARA'S 30th
at Bar Nancy.

Note the fabulous badge she's wearing - "30 is the new 16" - courtesy of moi (Number One Chicken).

MARIKA'S BDAY
Lamington Cake at my house.

GUISEPPE'S 1st BDAY
A very special Beef Cake (!) for Guiseppe the baby pug on her 1st Birthday. Cake from Pets & The City.

AMY'S CUPCAKE BDAY CAKE
This is an experimental cupcake-cake i made last year for DJ Amy (Macromantics). I did a food blog about it that you can read here.

CHILDHOOD CAKES - 1987
Every year as kids, my brothers and i would thumb through this old Women's Weekly Kids Birthday Cake book and hassle our Mum to make the craziest cakes. Here are a couple from 1987:

This is "Sniffety" the rabbit with liquorice whiskers!

What a phenomenal Train Cake this is, with biscuit wheels and popcorn in its carriages....!

It seems something went awry in 1987, and half of our photos are double-exposed. You'll see my bro and i cuddling in another photo across his awesome Sweathog jumper... cute!

EAST BRUNSWICK CLUB - $10 MONDAYS

2008-06-09T00:53:00.000-07:00

280 Lygon Street, East Brunswick
http://www.eastbrunswickclub.com/

Everyone should hit the East Brunswick Club for a bite and a beer on Ten Buck Mondays. There are loads of vegan counter meals, and jugs of beer are just a tenner as well.

Tonight i wish i wasn't so partied out and was eating and drinking at the East to the tune of DJs Romy Hoffman (Macromantics) and Max Kohane (Agents of Abhorrence).

Vegan Parma

Lisa & Vegie Burger, Marika opening wide for Vegan Bolognese

EARTH HOUR DINNER PARTY

2008-05-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

I threw a Potluck Dinner Party with eight ladies at my house. Sadly i have no good photos of the food - but for good reason. Without knowing so when i planned it, the dinner party fell on the evening of Earth Hour, so dinner was served only by candle light.
What was supposed to be Earth Hour turned into Earth-Several-Hours, when once the hour passed we decided it was really nice to eat and chat in the glow of the candles (oh and the glow of some city lights in the background that were naughtily not switched off).
It was a bit romantic, really... Marika had said earlier:
"I wonder if anyone'll pash when the lights go out?!"
And we laughed... Nine women. Three lezzo's to six het's. And we'd all known each other some 6 to 15 years...? Chances were pretty slim for a spark in the dark!!

Just look at those few bastardly lights left on in the city... tsk tsk...

Two guests were excused from dish-making duties. One has recently made a baby, after all, and is busy enough making milk like a maniac. And another was excused in light of relationship relationshit.

Though you wont see it for the light, this is the amazing food we had:

MARIKA - Mushroom Soup
LIA - Gyoza Dumplings
(Pumpkin-Coriander-PineNut as well as FieldMushroom-Zucchini)
JESS - Sweet Potato & Cous Cous Salad
ALEX - Bean Salad, Fruit Salad and Soy Choc Icecream
LISA - Vegan Lasagne and Vegan Banana Cake
CARA - Pesto & Vegetable Risotto
(with homemade pesto and veggies from her veggie patch!)
MICHELE - Tiramisu

Oh, here's one i took with flash, of the Lasagne and Risotto being dished up:

Upon eating, some conversation began around the dinner table:
"This is delicious!"
"Thanks. It's from a Good Weekend recipe..."
"Oh, HOW GOOD is the Good Weekend?! I made something from it last night!"

Melissa and i turned to each other in horror at what was being said... How is it that we've gone from rock'n'roll slags to sounding like bloody housewives...?? Funny that the one most horrified, was the only one that's a wife and a mother!
Luckily the conversation then took a welcome dive, as two of the girls recounted a concert ticket fraud operation they undertook in the 90s. And the Smashing Pumpkins concert where they were finally busted and separated, just moments after they'd dropped some acid.

Earth Hour Dinner was awesome, and we plan to make it a monthly occurrence.

The night ended, after guests departed, with a text i received upstairs, coming from Marika in the spare room downstairs:

"Hey chicken im gonna read in bed but likely to fall asleep with light on. Can you please turn it off before you go to bed. Earth xxx"

"Bloody Earth i will!", i should have replied. But she was asleep already.

Earth indeed.

http://www.earthhour.org/

PORTLAND: PART TWO

2008-05-14T05:15:00.001-07:00

VOODOO DOUGHNUT
22 SW 3rd Avenue, Portland, OR
http://www.voodoodoughnut.com
Voodoo Doughnut came recommended by stacks of people. Open 24 hours, with vegan options and a slogan like “The Magic is in the Hole”, how on earth could you resist?!

I left Marika to queue up and order, and surprise surprise - she came out with a DICK shaped doughnut! I reluctantly broke some off to eat. The balls were crème-filled, and i'll never forget the look on poor Marika's face when she dropped one of them on the footpath. Truly devastating...

INDIAN TRUCK – “INDIA CHAAT HOUSE”
804 SW 12th Avenue, Portland, OR
We’d walked past many a food truck in Portland, but given at home these things are more commonplace (and crumby) at showgrounds and festivals, we had disregarded them as somewhere to eat. My mate Pete (Yellow Swans) enlightened us however, and before taking us on a walking tour of the Pearl District, he kindly shouted us lunch at one of his favourites - the Indian Truck!

THE EGYPTIAN ROOM
3701 SE Division Street, Portland, OR
http://www.eroompdx.com/
I must make an honorable mention of our Ace Hotel host, who took us out to some bars in SE Portland on our final night. Sadly, it was midweek and there wasn't a great deal going on. But after a few drinks at Holocene, we head to The Egyptian Room, which was warned to be a total dive and said to be the only Lesbian Bar in Portland (something i find hard to believe, since Portland's such a notoriously homo city!).
I was thrilled to have my beer served in a Souvenir PBR Mug that came with cheap refills. Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) is the equivalent of VB, i guess, in that it's rather cheap'n'nasty.
There's something a bit wrong about this, but i've since been having soyshakes in my souvenir glass at home:

Wednesday at the "E-Room" was Karaoke Night, and our Ace new friend did an amazing rendition of Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?":

Aside from my companions, my fave karaoke-ers were the girl who looked as though she’d come straight from the hospital in her blue scrubs, and the excitable girl in a wheelchair. My not-so-favourite karaoke-er was the lady who got up after her and sung Denis Leary’s “Asshole”… I winced knowing the line “handicapped people make handicapped faces” was coming…

Just to keep this in Food Blog territory.... here's our host taking a bite out of her sweaty, Acca Dacca loving friend:

Thanks for taking us out, Liz. Little did you know, that after you kindly dropped us at our door, we only pretended to go inside... before running across the road to the Roxy!

THE ROXY
1121 SW Stark Street, Portland, OR

This was our first diner breakfast at a very unbreakfastly hour. How good is eating breakfast late at night?! We definitely need a good Roxy equivalent in Melbourne, cos i'm tired of potato cakes and souvlaki's as drunken snacks in the CBD.

I had Eggs & Hash Browns, and it looks like Marika had Pancakes & Bacon. Marika also had a spew, but not before putting a stack of awesome tunes on the jukebox.

OCEAN GROVE VEGAN RETREAT

2008-05-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago, I went down to my Nana's fabulous beach house in Ocean Grove with two vegans in tow. As people will know, I am not, myself, a vegan. In fact, I am fully carnivorous. But who's to complain when two great cooks are prepared to take the reigns? I may have provided the beach house, but I feel bad that I truly didn't lift a finger in the kitchen.

Dinner on Friday night was Jessica's moreish Tempeh Bolognese followed by a pool tournament where i was brutally caned by Romy the pool shark.

Turn your back and Romy has spun a web of Rice Paper Rolls...! Mmmm.

On Saturday, three more Melbournites drove down and joined the party at the beach.

Guiseppe, the baby pug, came as well and enjoyed a good perve on bikini-clad babes.

Saturday night, before settling in to watch The Honeymoon Killers and Bugsy Malone, there was a Dumpling Feast to be had.

Dumplings x 3 varieties: Mushroom, Eggplant, and Tofu & Corn (some steamed, some fried)

It seems Jessica enjoyed it so much that she wore the sauce.

What a treat of a weekend. Thank you ladies - open invite 4 life!

PORTLAND: PART ONE

2008-05-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

THE ACE HOTEL
1022 SW Stark Street, Portland, OR
http://www.acepdx.com
I know it aint food, but this boutique hotel is a DISH in itself, with all its rooms uniquely decorated by local artists. Thanks to a legendary friend at the desk, we got an upgrade from our modest shared-bathroom bed-sit, to a fucking lavish suite with a huge bed, L shaped lounge, clawfoot tub and the piece de resistance – a record turntable! Complete with records including The Temptations, Aretha Franklin, ABBA and Kris Kristofferson.
The building was previously the seedier Clyde Hotel, and our room was just up the hall from one in which Matt Dillon got off the junk in Gus Van Sant’s Drugstore Cowboy.

The upgrade was a double-edged sword… Suddenly, we didn’t wanna leave the hotel room, and afternoon naps and chill-outs became hard to resist.

We decided we should go out and meet some people to bring back for champagne in the bath, but unfortunately we didn’t meet any obliging parties. Next time for sure, and it’ll be Ace! I highly, highly, wholeheartedly recommend that anyone visiting Portland stay nowhere else but The Ace.

THE CLYDE COMMON
1014 SW Stark Street, Portland, OR
http://www.clydecommon.com

Also within the Ace Hotel building is Stumptown Coffee and The Clyde Common, where I had the most AMAZING Pork Chop.....

It had a Baked Peach with melted Blue Cheese on the side. Mmm. I want it again, right now.

MASU
406 SW 13th Avenue, Portland, OR
http://www.masusushi.com
I had eaten at Masu a few years back, after having met a sushi chef who had worked there. We sat up at the sushi bar and marveled at the art that came out.

Edamame (US$2)

Kaiso Salad with 5 types of seaweed, cucumbers, and sweet vinegar (US$6)

Tamago & other mixed nigiri

Veggie Inside-Out Maki

Someone else's amazing plate!

Thumbing through the Portland Mercury over dinner for something to do, my companion suggested we head to the Clinton Theatre for something called "SEXPDX". I agreed, without quite realising that we would spend the rest of the evening eating popcorn, watching porn... Yep. We sat down to some 70s porn out-takes as a prelude to a full feature called "Moments of Love" (1983), starring a young Ron Jeremy and a hung John Holmes. Interesting, to say the least.

HUBER’S
411 SW 3rd Avenue, Portland, OR
http://www.hubers.com
Before a gig, we stumbled into a place that claimed to be “Portland’s Oldest Restaurant”.

We sat up in Huber's grand dining room, which certainly had an old world, romantic feel about it that we were happy to indulge. Hence I was taken aback when our waiter, dressed in a black tie and waistcoat, nodded at my ensemble and said “Rad Maiden Shirt!”. Way to ruin the illusion, dude.

Illusions aside, it was a nice dinner, and we ended up chatting to the owner of the restaurant for a considerable amount of time about - of all things - tennis!

I had the specialty of the house:

BAKED SUGAR-GLAZED HAM - Topped with pineapple sauce and served with fresh mashed potatoes (US$14.95)

VALENTINE’S
232 SW Ankeny, Portland, OR
After Huber's we went around the corner to see a friend play at a cute little café-style bar. She sat on the floor and made beautifully layered, laid back noise.

Grouper at Valentine's

I urge you to listen to some of Liz Harris/Grouper's music, and will point you toward an mp3 download of one of my favourite tracks: Grouper - "Cover the Windows and the Walls". Good.

The girl who ran the bar at Valentine's was awesome, stopping every once in a while, between pours to churn tunes out from her ipod. Coco Rosie, Biggie... Definitely the kind of place I’d soon make my local, were it in my locality. I heart Valentines.

RESTAURANT WEEK

2008-02-28T05:36:00.000-08:00

What used to be called "Restaurant Week" is now called "The Age Good Food Guide Restaurant Express", and now spans two weeks as part of The Melbourne Food and Wine Festival.

Basically the deal is that participating restaurants offer lunch at $30 across the board, for 2 courses, a glass of wine and coffee. And these aren't just any restaurants... i guess they're all hat-scoring restaurants from the Age Good Food Guide, and hence, pretty swish - not places you'd likely get out of that cheaply any other week of the year.

My sister in law, Heidi, went pretty gung ho on it this year. She had about half a dozen lunches, while I was happy to accept two invitations....

L'OUSTAL
166 Bridport Street, Albert Park

Duck confit and pork belly Cassoulet

Lemon verbena bavarois and poached rhubarb

ESPOSITO AT TOOFEY'S
162 Elgin Street, Carlton
http://www.toofeys.com.au

Cauliflower and taleggio panna cotta: parmesan wafer, celery leaves and salsa verde

Swordfish, caramelized onion and pesto

Heidi: Salmon, sautéed spinach, shallot, thyme and red wine sauce

BEER CLUB No.1

2008-01-19T22:27:00.000-08:00

Between friends we've been brewing up the idea of having a Beer Club every once in a while - getting together to try new and unusual beers.

The Inaugural Beer Club took place out of the blue last week. As a precursor to larger Beer Club gatherings in future, it was a nice modest start, with a few ladies around on my balcony to test out the two ridiculous novelty ales i had come across.

The first was.............

NT DRAUGHT
Northern Territory, Australia

Dubbed "Australia's Biggest Beer", this m'fucker was seriously HUGE!
A present my Dad had brought back from Darwin for my 24th B'day, I'd forgotten it was sitting in the back of my pantry, waiting for the right occasion to come up to drink it. There was some debate as to whether the date printed on the box (03 April 2007) was the use by date or not, but we tried our luck anyhow.
It wasn't the most fantastic beer any of us had tried, and there was a comment made that "...it tastes kinda like what they'd serve as $1 pots at the Northern Territory's equivalent of The Tote!". No offense intended toward the beloved Tote, but more so to Geelong Bitter, the horrible beer we all used to neck as Dollar Pots on Tuesdays, back in the day. Frighteningly, I'm sure they fetch closer to two bucks nowadays.
Strangely enough, not unlike Geelong Bitter, Northern Territory Draught tasted MUCH better toward the end of the night (funny how that happens, aye?!). Clearly this beer was more about quantity than quality. Bulging out at 2 LITRES, let me give you an idea of how big the bastard was, with Brittany and I as a basis for comparison...

Second up was.............

BIÈRE DU BOUCANIER (Golden Ale)
East Flanders, Belgium

This beer was much preferred to the previous one. I picked it up at King & Godfree and the shop assistant claimed it was the strongest beer they stocked. At 11% Alcohol and 2.9 Standard Drinks, it was estimated that, although just a regular sized bottle, just two of these little puppies nearly equaled the strength of the whole gargantuan NT beer.
It was sweet, and fruity. A really nice beer, which came as a surprise, considering i thought i'd bought a tacky, novelty "Pirate Beer" that would taste revolting, like something you'd sooner scrub the decks with. But it's Belgian, after all, and i don't think I've ever had a BAD Belgian beer. Bière du Boucanier wont be sent to walk the plank - it gets the Beer Club tick of approval! Certainly not the beer to drink if you're thirsty, though... being so strong, it was only fit for minute little sips at a time. Be careful, Buccaneers... this bitch packs a punch!

SEASONS EATINGS

2008-01-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

I racked up some material during the most indulgent time of year. So here are some Christmas time meals that i'm gonna bang out all at once.

THAI FOOD TO GO
125 Chapel Street, Windsor

Pre-xmas dinner with Marika & Alex at Thai Food To Go in Windsor. I had a vegetarian Lard Nar - a veggie and rice noodle dish which was fairly bland. Wished I'd gone for a spicier Pad Thai instead.

CHRISTMAS DAY
We had our immediate family Christmas breakfast at home in Carlton. A tradition that consists of......

Fresh Summer Fruits

Bircher Muesli

And Salmon Gravalax on Mini Bagels with Dill Sauce (more about Gravalax here)

After exchanging xmas presents, it was off to my Aunt's house in Alphington for Christmas Lunch with the (ever-expanding) extended family. It's always a very relaxing, casual affair, held mostly outside, weather permitting.

There are always cold meats on offer, but the salads are so incredible, that it's often a better option to go vegetarian for the day.

Big plate of mixed salads, including.... my mum's acclaimed Pumpkin-Chickpea-Coriander Salad... Potato Salad... Caramelised Onions... two varieties of Marinated Mushrooms... Pasta Salad... Coleslaw, and my favourite of recent years - my auntie's Wild Rice Salad.

For dessert, i jumped on the Chocolate Ripple Cake, an old Aussie favourite, and also a hunk of colonial style Christmas Pudding with Custard. I'm not sure if there was a sixpence slipped in, but unless i swallowed it unknowingly, i guess i missed out.

Before and after lunch, guests were "treated" to a ride on an imaginary train, conducted by Aston, the eldest of the new generation.

Luckily booze was allowed on this train, but my mother got a scolding, and was firmly asked to disembark when she tried to take a cup of coffee on board...

After several hours of said activity, there was a "train crash" which resulted in my playing technician, and suggesting the train might have to retire to the train yard for the day... phew!

SPAG BOL IN NORTH CARLTON
After Christmas, Marika and I caught up with my cousin, Ella, whom we'd last hung out with in New York in September. We had dinner and drinks outside at my brother & sister-in-law's place, before hitting the town.

Heidi-homemaker offering us a choice of pasta...

Spaghetti Bolognese

LUNCH AT HOME
When mama's on school holidays, there's always plenty of nice walks and lovely lunches.

Banana Shakes by Lia. Baguette Sandwiches. And Portuguese Tarts from King & Godfree (293-297 Lygon Street, Carlton).

LA VINE'S COURTYARD CAFE & RESTAURANT
384 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy

On a warm night between xmas and new year, i caught up with some of my girls for dinner at a new Chinese-Vietnamese place on Brunswick Street. In the company of Vegan's, i was happy for them to order a yummy range of tofu & veggie dishes: Lemongrass & Ginger, Satay, Clay Pot, Mongolian somethingorother, i can't remember exactly what...
It had a gorgeous little courtyard. The staff were new, and were forgiven for a few mistakes and delays because they were so sweet. Give this place a burl!

BISTRO THIERRY

2008-01-07T21:23:00.000-08:00

511 Malvern Road, Hawksburn
http://www.bistrothierry.com

Bistro Thierry, in the Hawksburn Village, has a great set price lunch for those who fancy a bit of français at a reasonable price.

The “Prix Fixe Lunch” is $29 for two courses and glass of wine. And you can throw in an extra $7.50 for a third course if you're that way inclined.

Salad au fromage de Chévre
Salad of grilled goats cheese, assorted tomatoes, pine nuts & rocket.

Le “Hot Dog” Marseillais
Merguez sausage “hot dog” with roasted pepper, tomato and harissa compote.

Tarte Tatin
Warm apple and caramel tart served with calvados scented ice cream.

LAS VEGAS

2007-12-30T04:28:00.000-08:00

We only had two nights in Las Vegas and that’s plenty of time to see the absurd sights and bright lights. I once stayed for about 10 days, so Vegas is now well and truly crossed off my list!

A NIGHT ON THE TOWN...
So the first night we thought we’d hit the town and hit the turps in a big way for ladies night! I was easily coaxed into tarting up like a straight slapper, busting a dress and heels – a rare occurrence. We had a completely crazy night, dancing at ridiculous clubs with the “Eiffel Tower” in the background.

The Pussycat Dolls Casino

And introducing... The Pussycat Moles!

I’m rather fond of all the Las Vegas proverbs.. like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... or never happened at all. And hence much of the hijinks of this chapter, more heavily related to alcohol consumption than food, shall remain undisclosed, under tightlipped lock and key.

ROOM SERVICE @ THE FLAMINGO
3555 Las Vegas Boulevard, Las Vegas
http://www.flamingolasvegas.com
The morning after the night before.... argh.... and what better way to confront the day but with Room Service. Hell, we’re in Vegas, where room service is totally the done thing, so when in Rome...!

Eggs Benedict.

I was rather ill soon after breakfast, but I’m sure it was more the fault of a monstrous hangover than the fault of my eggs. Nothing a few 2-for-1 frozen cocktails by the pool wouldn’t fix! Back on the horse, back on the sauce.

FLAVORS BUFFET @ HARRAH’S CASINO
3475 Las Vegas Boulevard, Las Vegas
http://www.harrahslasvegas.com
Another Las Vegas institution - the Buffet! They had all sorts of stuff... But when it came down to it, it was a whole load of stuff, and none of it exceptionally good... I’d really prefer little choice, small portions and deliciousness. We rolled out feeling full to the brim, cursing Vegas excess yet again.

KOHNEN’S COUNTRY BAKERY
125 W Tehachapi Boulevard, Tehachapi, CA
We stopped in a gorgeous little town called Tehachapi on the way out of Vegas en route to San Francisco. It had the quaintest little art deco motels that advertised “colour television!” on their signs like it had just been invented.

We hit up the local bakery and I got stuck into a nice roll and an awesome “gourmet soda” with a draught style head.

The locals were really friendly, and we got talking to the sweet lady from the dry cleaning shop. Upon asking how to pronounce the name of the town, she recounted a joke that she uses to remember...

Q: Why did the chicken sit on the pod?
A: Tehachapi! (To hatch a pea)

Cute!

GPS LOVE
Can I finish by extending a thank you to our GPS, affectionately known as “Jill”, for helping us to get from LA to Vegas to San Francisco. We couldn’t have done it without you Jill, sweetheart...
I know there were those times you stopped talking to us… when we misunderstood you and kept exiting the highways we were meant to stay on... We are sorry about the night we disobeyed your directions and nearly crashed you into a homeless person pushing a shopping cart in the dodgy backstreets of Downtown LA...
But you always came through when we needed you most. And we all miss you terribly. Please email, stay in touch, and when you retire, you simply must visit Australia like we talked about - I’ll wear you on my wrist, honey.

We heart Jill, forevs.

HUNGRY JACKS

2007-11-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

Well, i'll be.... Just as Marika and i remarked and congratulated ourselves on not having eaten any fast food in America... Guess what we went and did on our first proper date back on home soil? Hungry Jacks! After seeing an amazing Circus show at NICA, we stopped in at Revolver Upstairs hoping for a bite to eat. Sadly, Patee Thai in their backroom was closed, so we had some beers to temporarily stifle our hunger. By the time we got back to the city we couldn't wait any longer, and Hungry Jacks swallowed us in its doors.

I went for classic badness. Whopper Cheese Meal! And Marika went for some bloody country chicken supposedly-healthier option. Ahhh, Hungry's... Great drunk munchies you wouldn't dream of eating sober.

LOS ANGELES

2007-11-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, Los Angeles! My first time in “La La Land” at that.
On a musical note rather than a food one, first... It troubled me so very much that Marika and I had that bloody Sheryl Crow song (All I Wanna Do) in our heads for most of the duration of our stay… The one that goes "ain't no country club either... this is L....A!". Don't pretend you don't know it! But gawd, couldn’t we think of any better LA songs?! I had actually been muttering Arlo Guthrie’s Coming Into Los Angeles as we came through the airport, but thought it wise not to sing lines like “bringin’ in a coupla keys” too loudly through customs.

Righto, get on with the food, sister…

CANTALOOP
7095 Hollywood Boulevard, Los Angeles
http://www.cantaloopyogurt.com/
On a boiling hot day, after a Tour of the Stars Homes and a waltz up the Hollywood Blvd Walk of Fame, we were relieved to find a frozen yoghurt shop, that stood like a dripping mirage in front of us. We sat out in Cantaloop’s brightly coloured plastic habitat where I had Natural Frozen Yoghurt with Raspberries and Marika tried Pomegranate Yoghurt with Lychees. My advice – Share one. They’re fucking huge!

CALIFORNIA VEGAN
7300 W. Sunset Blvd, Hollywood
http://www.californiavegan.com
This was our first dinner as a threesome. Alex had just arrived to kick off the Ladies Road Trip portion of the holiday. Poor bitch had to contend with bullshit delays, missing two flights on the way, so after a quick rest on her part, we walked down to California Vegan to get some veggies into the seriously-knackered gal. This place came on recommendation for its faux meats, and was met with mixed reviews.

Marika was less than impressed with her introduction to faux meats. She ordered “Steak” and it came out as follows.

I was ecstatic to order Pad Thai with Soy Shrimp (If you’ve read this thing enough, you’re aware of my begrudging allergy to shellfish). Sure it was just prawn shaped and coloured soy product, and wasn’t much like real prawns, but to me it was an awesome treat!

Pad Thai with Soy Shrimp served with Spring Roll, Miso Soup, Salad and Fried Brown Rice (US$10.95)

Excited about “Prawns” (I haven’t figured out how to photoshop that shine off my brow just yet!)

Alex gets some much-needed greens

It was the 3rd Birthday of my business, Number One Chicken, that night and I forget if I even made mention of it. A lovely chilled out night, we returned to Motel 6 Hollywood and sat outside on the back stairs drinking Pacifico beers and chatting before retiring rather early.

EL CHAVO (& SUNSET JUNCTION FESTIVAL)
4441 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles
We spent a Sunday afternoon at Sunset Junction, a community street festival at the junction of Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevards. We met up with the Nation Blue boys, drank a bunch of margaritas in the scorching heat, and watched some bands. Arriving pretty late in the day, we only really caught a snippet of Hot Hot Heat, most of The Bronx and of course… the headliners… who we wouldn’t have missed for the world… the fucking BUZZCOCKS!! They played an awesome set, but as they exited the stage, we looked at eachother thinking “Whatthefuck? Are they gonna play the classics?!” Durr.. of course. They came back for an encore and busted out “What Do I Get?”, “Orgasm Addict”, and everyone’s favourite, “Ever Fallen In Love?”. Pretty fucking idyllic to hear that song live with a gorgeous sunset and the tall LA palms in the background…

Nation Blue sucking down Margarita's.

The Buzzcocks playing at sunset on Sunset

Between bands, we snuck away just up the road to El Chavo, a Mexican bar/restaurant for nice strong margarita’s on their back patio. We ended up back there again for dinner after the Buzzcocks.

Veggie Enchiladas, Beers & Margaritas

El Chavo back patio - poor Tom was struck down with an evil South American flu, and felt obliged to sit far away from us.

THE ECHO
1154 Glendale Blvd, Echo Park, Los Angeles
http://www.attheecho.com/
We spent two consecutive nights at The Echo in Echo Park. Firstly for a Nation Blue gig, and the second simply for drinking and dancing all night at the Sunset Junction afterparty. The drinks were extortionately priced (like US$8 for spirits!?) but the Echo was fun. I especially liked the back courtyard where we met lots of fun Californian kidlets, and which was divine on these hot LA summer nights.

Tom & Marika out the back at the Echo

YONNI’S
1714 N. Wilcox Avenue, Hollywood
http://www.yonnis.com
Still adjusting to the challenge of eating well in America - a particularly hard feat in our touristy stretch of Hollywood Boulevard - it was nice to stumble across Yonni's around the corner from our motel. Halleliuah, a Euro-style café! Something we certainly take so much for granted in Melbourne.

I had a lovely Panini there one morning, and we all got hooked on their delicious Soymilk Shakes... Banana/Peanut Butter/Chocolate Shakes! Mmmm! A genius combination that i have since been copying at home and may blog about at some stage.

Geneva Panini – Smoked Ham, Swiss Cheese, Organic Baby Greens, Red Onions, Mayonnaise, and French Mustard on Ciabatta Bread (US$7.00).

MEL’S DRIVE-IN
1660 North Highland, Hollywood
http://www.melsdrive-in.com
We picked up some wheels on our last day in LA and hit the beach, followed by a Drive-In Diner. After soaking up some sun at Venice Beach, we drove our just-hired car back Hollywood way to Mel’s Drive-Inn.

Root Beer Float! Perhaps better known to Aussies as a "Spider", for what reason I'm not sure... Anyone??

Avocado Burger: all that's in The Famous Melburger plus sliced avocado, onion, Jack cheese, and crisp bacon.

Y’know... I think this might have been the only burger I ate on the whole trip... How the hell did I manage that in America?! Nice one!

DUKE’S COFFEE SHOP
8909 Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood
http://www.dukescoffeeshop.com/

"Inside Duke's Coffee Shop on a warm Tuesday morning in February 1967, I told Jim Morrison the story of my life, concentrating on the last year. I couldn't seem to stay out of trouble, I told him." - from Wonderland Avenue by Danny Sugerman.

Well, it was actually a warm Tuesday morning some 40 years later that the three of us sat down to breakfast at Duke's, before embarking on our road trip to Las Vegas. We were looking forward to getting into some trouble!

Having both, myself and Marika, read Wonderland Avenue, and knowing it to be a frequent haunt of Jim Morrison and the Doors, among others, we thought we should add our infamous selves to their patron list. It was a pretty shabby old diner sort of joint. Very basic, but cute. Alex tried to order a latte. Dream on! It was black drip-coffee or nuthin. I, myself, made the never-to-be-repeated mistake of ordering an Iced Coffee which came out as brown water with ice in it. Revolting.

French Toast with Bacon and an Iced Coffee like none other I've experienced..

French Toast - Thick sliced egg bread, dipped in beaten eggs, covered with powdered sugar (US$7.95)

It's funny how the above menu description doesn't mention that heart-attack sized scoop of whipped butter right there in the middle! Whoa dude, you wouldn't wanna have high cholesterol or anything..

LIAM'S 1ST BIRTHDAY

2007-10-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

Sadly, my nephew lives in Switzerland, so we weren't able to celebrate his very first birthday with him. But that didn't stop us from having a lovely home-cooked dinner, nice wines and a cake in his honour anyway. He'll be a lucky little devil once he's old enough to get into some of Gramma's cookin'!

ENTRÉE

Asparagus with Goats Cheese, Spanish Onion, Pine Nuts & Balsamic Dressing

MAIN COURSE

Atlantic Salmon with Aioli, Potatoes, Broccoli, Zucchini & Brussel Sprouts

WINES

Black Puma Shiraz 2004

Never one to let things go to waste, Auntie Heidi let her table manners fly out the window and savoured the last drops from the bottle.

De Bortoli Noble One - a noice sweet Semillon with dessert

DESSERT

A very fitting dessert for our Half-German nephew/grandson in Switzerland: Swiss Roll & German Biscuits!

Meanwhile, across the other side of the world......

Pregnant Mum indulges in some frites in the mountains!

And Liam, too young for cake or to know the difference, "blows" out the candles on a banana! Awwww...

SWEET SOURCE

2007-10-21T03:06:00.000-07:00

288 Rathdowne Street, North Carlton

Bloody gorgeous warm day today in Melbourne. I delighted in wearing shorts and thongs down the street this arvo for Afternoon Tea at Sweet Source. It's my Dad's 59th Birthday, so we had Cakes and Cuppas at this cosy little North Carlton café.

My Soy Chai Latte and co.

Mmmm... Smartie Brownie!

[P.S. For any American readers... When i say, above, that i wore my thongs down the street, i totally mean flip flops, not a g-string. Crikey, that'd be some sight!]

HAWAII PART 2: FOOD

2007-10-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

MORIO’S
2443 Kuhio Avenue, Honolulu
On our first night in Honolulu, we went to the front desk of our hotel to ask for recommendations.
“What do you wanna eat, Denny’s?” - Shit No...
“You like Japanese?” - Fuck Yes!
So we head a few blocks down the street to Morio’s, which was small and chockfull of people, and squeezed in some seats at the Sushi Bar. We tried to order beers, but found we’d have to BYO and Marika zipped around the corner for a sixer of Asahi.
The chef, Morio, whom everyone called “Mo” was quite a character, and musta been a pretty good sort, cos everyone seemed to be dropping in and giving him gifts. I loved the US banknote bandana his friend had bought him, asked where it came from, and went and gots me one too!

Morio with his awesome bandana on

Me sporting my copycat bandana whilst driving through the Nevada Desert and chewing on some jerky – a yank snack that had its place on the road trip, but doesn’t by any means warrant its own blog chapter!

Anyway, back to the Sushi. We asked Morio for a selection of Nigiri, minus any shellfish. We were also treated to a procession of things we hadn’t requested, including a Green Salad, Miso, Spicy Beef Salad, sliced oranges, and some extra desserts that Mo’s friend had delivered – a peanut shortbread and a mini sweet potato pie. I was startled at the sweet potato being bright purple in colour!

We couldn’t believe it when the bill came to just US$10 each, plus our BYO beers. Genius!

Morio’s Nigiri Platter - Take One

On our return trip, when Ono’s (further below) eluded us yet again, we were quick to agree to hit up Morio’s again. It was rather fitting, really, that we ate there the first night of our trip and again on the final night, coming full circle.

Morio’s Nigiri Platter - Take Two

ONO’S
726 Kapahulu Avenue, Honolulu
Well, for the first time I’m going to make mention of a place I haven’t even eaten at, but because Ono’s was so elusive, it simply must be good. “Ono” means delicious in the Hawaiian language and apparently they serve authentic Hawaiian food. A few locals we'd met had recommended it.
So some ditz at the Hotel gave us bad directions, and after getting lost in dead ends on the ghetto side of Ala Wai canal, we found Ono’s had closed already. We tried again on our return trip, after salivating at the thought of it for weeks, but the restaurant was due to close before we could get there, and sadly the dream was defeated.
We have vowed to eat at Ono’s one day, if it’s the last thing we do.

IRIFUNE
563 Kapahulu Avenue, Honolulu
When we found Ono’s closed, we wandered back down Kapahulu and noticed a bustling joint called Irifune. As we perused the menu out front, a dude came out clutching a wine bottle and said... “It’s awesome. And you can bring your own booze”. So we head to the bottle-o and got some beers [Note: American’s don’t call them bottle-o’s... you’ll likely get your grog from a bodega or a mini-mart].

I ordered Vegetable Tempura (which also had the purple yam) and got the whole works thrown in on the side; Miso, Salad and Brown Rice. Again the bill came to US$10 a head. Laughing!

Vegetable Tempura and one of my favourite beers, MGD (Millers Genuine Draft or “Mission Gangsta Drink” as i once heard it referred to as)

The restaurant was pretty kitsch, with knick knacks and funny art all over the place. The walls were filled with photos of famous people who’d eaten there. I was particularly impressed with this autographed photo of “Miss Hawaii 1992” on the wall behind our table.

Midway through our meal, all the lights went out, leaving the whole place in complete darkness. Shit! I thought… not only is Hurricane Flossie headed our way, but the bloody power’s gone out! Much to my relief, the staff soon emerged with candles, singing Happy Birthday for one of the patrons. This occurred on two occasions for two Birthdays that night and we all sang and then partook in a tradition of looking up at the “stars” (AKA twinkling lights on the ceiling) and saying “oooohhhh.... aaaahhhh....”. Very cute!

AHI & VEGETABLE
1126 Fort Street Mall, Honolulu

Good cheap lunch stop in Downtown Honolulu. I had Tanuki Udon and Marika had a Crab Salad.

TOFF DINNER

2007-10-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

Level 2, Curtin House
252 Swanston Street, Melbourne

Catching up on some old stuff here. But following on from an earlier teaser in The Toff In Town booths, i took my brother and sister-in-law there for dinner in July as their belated birthday present of sorts.
Toff's menu changes as per what time you're there, with hors d'oeuvre's, dinner and refined late night supper munchies. The servings were pretty modest, but delicious. I'm looking forward to ducking in for another Duck Pie sometime soon!

Poached Eye Fillet

Duck Pie with Lentil Salad & Plum Chutney

Toff Booth occupants - courtesy of poor outstretched-arm photography

RECEIPT
1 Dourthe No. 1 - $9.00
1 Chevallier - $8.00
1 Erdinger Hefe Weizen - $10.00
2 Duck Pie w Lentil Salad & Plum Chutney - $35.00
1 Poached Eye Fillet - $19.50

Served by: Jasmine

HAWAII PART 1: COCKTAILS

2007-10-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

Aloha! It’s time to move on from terrible plane food and into some Hawaiian Cocktails. Let me start by saying that Hawaii (Honolulu and Oahu) was the total surprise package of the trip. I’d never given Hawaii much thought, much less ever planned to go there. But when the cheapest means of getting to Mainland USA proved to be via Hawaii, I certainly wasn’t complaining! And I loved it.
Now that I'm back in the tedious swing of real life at home, I’m often catching myself in Waikiki daydreams..... taking a dip in the blue-green ocean, all the while admiring the unbeatable view of Diamond Head. Before wrapping a towel around my hips and sitting down for a juicy cocktail and another breathtaking sunset.
Just a few non-foodie photos first to set the scene:

Is this a great [out-the-plane-window] photo, or what?!

LAVA FLOW
At The Royal Hawaiian, 2259 Kalakaua Avenue, Honolulu
The very first thing we ingested in Hawaii was, ever-appropriately, a cocktail on the beach. We head to the massive Pink Palace known as The Royal Hawaiian, and sat in their open-air Mai Tai Bar.
Waiting for the cocktail menu, we took a moment to relax, take in the view, and sink-in the surreal nature of suddenly being in fucking Hawaii.. on Monday at Midday.. when the rest of you sons of bitches are at work. Ha! Sucked in!
So rather than a Mai Tai - which I had recently read isn’t even Hawaiian and rather from Oakland! - we opted for another signature cocktail, “The Lava Flow”, which had a swirl of strawberry around its edges.

The Lava Flow: White Rum, Bananas & Coconut, blended with an eruption of Strawberry

We only had one cocktail, but the Lava Flow would keep on giving, and serve as a fabulous “in-joke” for the rest of the trip. You see, later that afternoon I received a generous gift in the form of my period – yeah, exactly what I wanted at the beach-beginnings of our holiday! Such an affliction would thereafter be referred to, in code, as "ones Lava Flow”.

We soon decided a munchie was in order and ordered some Nachos, giving Marika her first introduction to the American phenomenon of Orange Cheese. To my surprise, she loved it.

THE WIPEOUT
At The Aloha Surf Hotel, 444 Kanekapolei Street, Honolulu
When we searched for accommodation in Waikiki, one of the major selling points and the eventual decider for us was that the Aloha Surf Hotel had a Manager’s Reception on Tuesdays that featured their signature drink, “The Wipeout”.
In the lead-up to our trip, Marika and I regularly made reference to it. “[However-many] sleeps and we’ll be drinking Wipeouts in Hawaii!” we exclaimed excitedly. Such was our excitement to be in Hawaii, that we somehow actually forgot about the Wipeout and wandered back one afternoon to the heavenly sight of guests sitting around sipping bright blue cocktails.

The barman was a dude, and not only gave a rad Hang Ten for my photo, but was also nice enough to divulge the cocktail's "secret" ingredients.

The Wipeout: Vodka, Blue Curacao, Pineapple Juice & Coconut Cream

We adjourned to the Poolside to drink our Wipeouts, which were small in size, but jeez… were those bastards strong! Marika went back for seconds and I decided, rather uncharacteristically, that it might just be true to its name and wipe me out completely. It was only 6pm, after all - hold your horses!

SAND BAR & GRILL
At The Waikiki Sand Villa Hotel, 2375 Ala Wai Blvd, Honolulu
It’d be remiss of me not to mention the Sand Bar, where we drank as our last pit stop, every single night in Hawaii. You were welcome to use their internet terminals if you ordered a drink, and that we did. I got stuck into some Canadian Club & Cokes, remembering again the dangers of drinking Spirits in America… a heavy-handed free pour of liquor, and a very light splash of “soda” if you’re lucky.
Located directly across from our hotel, we decided we’d spent so much time in this joint; we may as well just stay there on our return trip. No Wipeouts at the Sand Villa, but it was cheaper anyway.

Drunk on the Internet – a Recipe for Disaster!

ROADSIDE FRUIT STALL
Somewhere on the East Coast of Oahu
We decided to give touristy Waikiki a wide berth for the day, hired a car and drove half the coast of Oahu Island. In between snorkeling stops, we came across a cute little Fruit Stall by the side of the road.

We grabbed some Star-Fruit, and Marika picked up a Coconut. It filled me with great confidence when, not only was she driving on the right-hand-side for the very first time, but juggling a coconut as well!

Once the Coconut Milk was sucked dry, we couldn’t resist cracking the shell in half and having a bit of fun indulging our notion of Hawaiian fashion.

Aloha Coconut Bra (and Banana too!)

[There are a few beachside eats and drinks missing, cos I couldn’t tuck my camera in my bikini while I swam. Props to Moana Surfrider for the Mai Tai’s. And to the Outrigger Reef for the banana lounges on the beach, and the Mahi-Mahi Sandwich that taught Marika the valuable lesson that what we folk know as a “Sandwich” can actually, in American, translate to a “Burger”].

PLANE FOOD IS PLAIN FOOD

2007-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

The amount of content I’m sitting on from my trip is beyond overwhelming. I’ve gotta break it down in a big way. And so naturally we begin with, everybody’s favourite..... Plane Food!!

JETSTAR PLANE FOOD
When we booked our cheap Hawaii return flights through Jetstar you could opt to pay extra for a TV console, a blanket, and meal service. Known for having more money than sense, I got the works, while Marika skipped out on the food.
We wondered which would prove the better option. Would Marika be famished, looking on hungrily at my meal, and angrily back at her tray table in its upright position? I must say, she compensated very well with a sanger and an endless selection of nuts and snacks.
And my plane food… well… it was plane food and after reading this article upon our return home - about an alleged food poisoning outbreak on Jetstar - the verdict was clear...

If you fly Jetstar, skip the sixty-frickin-dollars for the extras and pack your own picnic and blanket!

The most appetising aspect is surely the Bourbon!

TILSON TEA

2007-10-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

The afternoon after i arrived home - armed with some American grog and on the back of a six-week bender - i thought it highly appropriate to invent a refreshing new cocktail for the upcoming Aussie summer.

And so, Tilson Tea was born. A stroke of genius! Even if Ms. Tilson does say so herself.

A part of me says i should keep this recipe under wraps in the family vault, but it's too sweet 'n' tasty not to share:

TILSON TEA
Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
Special Iced-Tea Brew (inc. Black Tea, Rooibos, Blackcurrant & Apple)
Dash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Lemonade

FOOTY GRAND FINAL

2007-09-29T02:56:00.000-07:00

I just returned home from America, and thought the perfect way to get reacquainted with Australian Life would be to perch in front of the AFL Grand Final with my old man. Carn the Cats - Bring the flag back to Victoria!

Watching the coverage was like being thrown into the deep end of adjusting to Ocker accents. As the commentators unleashed colloquial gem after gem, i was overcome with a wave of bogan patriotism... "It's fair dinkum unbelievable!" exclaimed the commentator, when the siren sounded and Geelong had won. "Bloody great effort!" said the Norm Smith Medalist to his fellow Cats (proven not to be Pussies).

We walked up to my brother's house for a drink afterwards. In a very un-Australian move, he had missed the Footy, running errands instead and claimed, "You could've shot a cannon down Punt Road - the streets were empty!"

I grinned at the Football spirit as we walked down the road in North Carlton... Front yards strewn with blue and white streamers. Club photos blue-tacked in front windows. Doors wide open with parties spilling into their hallways. Dads playing kick-to-kick with their kids in the street. And geurnsey-wearing clusters walking to and fro with eskies in hand. [Which reminds me... How's this for some bad Cockney slang. I once heard someones Esky referred to as a Jaidyn Leskie! Ouch.. Very bad taste!]

WAIT.... This is a Food Blog, not a Sports/National Pride Blog, right?? Well... just you wait till you feast your eyes on the ripper of a meal we tucked into after half time:

VB Stubbies, Party Pies, Sausage Rolls and Tomato Sauce [Cockney: Dead Horse]

Clearly you can take the girl out of Australia, but you'll never take the bogan out of my heart.

Righty-ho, I'm off like a bucket a shrimp in the sun, xo

HEADED TO THE USA

2007-08-09T02:13:00.000-07:00

I'm about to embark on a six week trip to America (including Honolulu, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Portland, Olympia, Seattle, New York and New Orleans).

So... Appetite For Distraction will be on hiatus for a short while, after which you can expect my reports on American Delicacies. Oh WAIT - is that an oxymoron?! Hahahar.. Only joking Yankees... (sort of). But yes, I'm headed to the Fast Food Nation, the Capital of Cheese - orange cheese, that is... Foul!

I'm sure there'll be plenty of diamonds in the rough to write home about however. They're good at faux meats over there. And i can't wait for REAL Mexican food. Looking forward to lots of Dr. Pepper's. Reeces Pieces. And dare i say... Parliament Cigarettes! Tasty in their own right, but i can't go talking cancer sticks in a food blog, can i?

I wouldn't want this to be too text-heavy, so I'll leave you with a recently devoured treat.

My Mum returned from overseas a few weeks ago, and believe you me, i haven't lifted a finger in the kitchen since. Spoilt!
Anyway, one evening she came home with half a dozen Snails for me! From the previously noted French Charcuterie. Classic Burgundy-style with garlic butter and left in their shells. I really like this shot...

Escargots and Champagne with Melbourne city lights in the background

Also in the photo above, you'll see my travel companion, Marika, dressed in a robe. Nothing suss here folks, we weren't up to nuthin I swear! In fact, she was just about to slip into something more comfortable:

Bride of Frankenstein, filled up on our snail-champers cocktail and ready to spook people on Friday 13th!

PHILLIP ISLAND GETAWAY

2007-06-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

A lovely long-weekend was spent at Phillip Island, to farewell our prized Anna K-S, who's set to flee to Italy for eighteen months or something ridiculous.

I arrived a day late, having missed Ladies Night, but joined 15 others to a sumptuous carnivorous feast on the Saturday night. Three animals were spinning on the rotisserie as we pulled up, leaving just enough time to wet our appetites with champagne and wine whilst we waited.

Cranking the Spit before we arrived.

Getting stuck into the carvery, with delicious gravy, vegies, and a killer salad of cous cous, cashews and coriander - apparently a dish from Nicholson Street's Birdy Num Nums, which i must get the recipe for.

After dinner, out came the quintessential Aussie dessert - a Chocolate Ripple Cake, complete with sparklers - to celebrate Anna's birthday which we'll miss in December.

As the girls got drunker, we sang and danced. And the boys did "boy stuff", which seemed to consist of lighting farts and throwing knives. It's been a long time since I've spent considerable time with heterosexual males, and i think i offended some of them, by claiming it had reaffirmed my sexuality. However not the kind of kitchen activity i sought to document, i took some photos of what i thought would surely result in a severed hand and a triple-0 call.

Come morning, a few sore-headed kids decided that a dip in the chilly ocean would be the perfect hangover cure. As a few of us walked up and sat on the beach, we noticed the Brazilian guest of our entourage with a thermos and a weird contraption. As i sat perplexed, someone else arrived at the beach and vocalised my first thoughts - "SHIT - that's the biggest cone I've ever seen!!".

Our corrupt minds were wrong, and it was in fact chimarrao, a bitter tea from Brazil, that you drank with a metal filter straw. I had a sip - very strong, and very very bitter. Certainly an acquired taste.

Sunday was set for sandwiches and soccer, reading by the fire, a game of Pictionary and take-away pizza for dinner. I also conducted a button workshop where we all made commemorative badges for Anna. By days end she was left with some twenty-plus badges proudly pinned to her hoodie. It was a considerably more subdued evening compared with that of the night before, but a welcome and relaxing one all the same.

MAD COWES
4/17 The Esplanade, Cowes

For those unfamiliar, Cowes is the main town on Phillip Island. And though i've been there before, i still smirk at the clever hilarity of a Café called Mad Cowes. Monday Brunch took place at said café, where the consensus was clear that the Soy Chai Latte is to the Naughties, what Cafe Latte's were to the Nineties. Though I'm far from a New Age, Feng Shui-ed, Chakra-aligned, Pilates Yogi... i certainly don't mind sucking up a Chai every once in a while.

While most tucked into eggs of some persuasion, i opted for a Smoked Salmon Sandwich, with Cream Cheese, Spanish Onions, Capers and Rocket. Mmm.

So... How's this for a gorgeous view, just outside the cafe?

SAN REMO HOTEL BISTRO

Just over the mainland side of the Phillip Island bridge, we stopped in at San Remo for a counter meal on the way back home. The Veal Parmigiana with chips and salad was $21.95, and as we ate, we argued how far we reckoned we could stretch $21.95 at home. Typical City Slickers... But the Parma was nice and filling, and sometimes you just can't beat a hearty dose of pub grub in an understated country bistro.

More "Phillo" holiday snaps at Flickr.

THE COLLECTIVE

2007-06-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

133 Ormond Road, Elwood

As a driving-impaired individual, I sighed at the thought of crossing the river - and then some - to get to Elwood for a friend's Birthday Bash.

Wondering whether i'd go, i sat down to watch The Bill in an effort to better relate to my US traveling buddy, who's a complete junkie for the show. Hence I was shocked to receive a phonecall from that very lass in the middle of the episode, but pleased when the conversation consisted succinctly of "Driving to Elwood. Wanna lift? Bill's on. Pick you up after. Bye."

Ormond Road seemed such a suburban shop strip, and so far from a bustling partytown that we wondered if we might have taken a wrong turn. Inside The Collective was a different story though; teeming with people, warm and well-furnished, with bratty punk, rocknroll and 80s tunes cranking out.

If Elwood were my locale, for sure the Collective would be a regular. But for now... and likely forever... Northside rules!

The bar closed at a conservative midnight, leaving a pair of northsiders feeling as though an extra tipple on our turf was in order. The Stabs, 2am slot at Pony. Perfect.

VEGAN DINNER

2007-06-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

If I'm not mistaken, this was my first invitation to a Vegan's house for dinner, and i was interested to see what might be on offer.

I arrived the first guest, and in jest, asked the vegan chef, "You about to get my steak going...? Where's the cow? Out back??" Ha har.

Not to my surprise, the food was delicious:

I should have snapped more photos of the hors d'oeuvres and desserts, which included a Strawberry salad with Passion Fruit dressing - like Pavlova without the Pav... yum!

Also for dessert, were Tofutti Cuties:

I wore my welcome pretty thin i reckon. First to arrive, and still the last bozo guest to depart at well well well past midnight on a Wednesday night. After throwing back countless beers, i decided it was a great idea to neck some Shiraz at the end of the night and suffered a hangover of biblical proportions the next day. Perhaps a vegan diet doesn't mop up the booze as well as a meaty one.....? Excuses Excuses!

Verdict: Vegan is A-OK by me. Just allow me an occasional amnesty of bacon & eggs, camembert, snickers bars, pork crackling and snails, and maybe i'd join the club!

RHUBARB FEST

2007-06-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

My Aunt kindly brought me a bunch of Rhubarb, and i entertained myself all week by baking a variety of Rhubarb treats:

RHUBARB & APPLE CRUMBLE
This was an old Sunday Life recipe i'd clipped that calls for oats and flaked almonds to top. When i first made this crumble years ago, there were no plain rolled oats to be found, so i used HJTilson's muesli mix. It went down such a treat that it's been etched into the new recipe.

RHUBARB & APPLE GYOZA
I've had a bit of a love affair with gyoza's lately, after discovering how cheap and easy they are. More on that later. But i had leftover gyoza skins and decided that an Apple Rhubarb dessert dumpling was well worth a shot. I just stewed the Apple and Rhubarb a little with sugar, before pinching the gyoza's up, frying in oil and serving with icecream. Noice. P.S. I almost can't handle how cute this bambino Le Creuset pot is!

RHUBARB MUFFINS
A recipe from Stephanie Alexander's ever-helpful Cooks Companion. Simple as they may be, this was my favourite of the rhubarb incarnations. You can't go past a good fresh muffin in my book.

On a sidenote... when i went to cook muffins the other night, i reached into the pantry... and pulled out this VERY un-PC apron:

Yes, it does indeed read "New Orleans - Hurricane Season - A Category 5 Good Time!"

Whoa dude... i had completely forgotten about this apron, since it bore little significance when i bought it, back in July '05, just a month before Hurricane Katrina. Crikey... it seems what was once a tacky souvenir, is now historic memorabilia of utmost bad taste! I'll be interested to see what kind of souvenirs are on offer, and if these sorts are still around when i return to New Orleans in a few months time.

TABLE FOR ONE

2007-06-02T10:22:00.000-07:00

On the whole i'm beginning to tire of cooking for myself every night, and have been getting a bit lazy. I mean, who can be bothered to cook nice meals day in day out, when you're the only one eating them? If you ask me, it's kinda like a tree falling in the woods and nobody hearing it... If you make a really creative and delicious meal and have no one to enjoy it with - and best of all compliment you on it! - it may as well not have happened. Well... almost. Y'know what i mean!

Perhaps that sounds a bit grim, but for this very reason, I've cheated on occasion and had a little help. This weeks helping hand was the French Charcuterie on Lygon Street. I went there hoping for an escargot quiche after a bout of jealousy, having heard about my folks eating snails in Paris. They were fresh out, but i gots me some nice french tarts all the same.

Tarte a L'onion, Tarte au Chèvre and Rocket Salad

LA PARISIENNE PÂTÉ
290 Lygon Street, Carlton

PEKING DUCK

2007-06-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

I always had some sort of aversion to duck. Perhaps because they're cute or something. But recently, in spite of my contradictory carnivorous ethics, i've decided that i like it afterall.

For my Brother's 27th Birthday the other week, we got together what's left in the country of our immediate family and had a lovely homecooked meal.

For entree we had Peking Duck, which came courtesy of Luv-a-Duck, wrapped up with Cucumber, Spring Onions and Hoisin sauce. What with the aforementioned dislike, i'd never tried Peking Duck. But quack quack... it was delicious... and i'm sold!

http://www.luvaduck.com.au/

The next course was Gourmet Pizza, made from scratch, dough included. Topped with Eggplant, Pumpkin, Goats Cheese, Potato and Rosemary.

We adjourned to the lounge, like any good contemporary family, and perched in front of the telly to eat the dessert i'd made, Apple Crumble (not pictured).

Soon after i arrived home, a lovely lady made a midnight delivery of half a case of Dr. Pepper to fill my fridge with. Thankyou for making my fridge look so obvious i'm in bachelorette-ville, where liquid consumables far outnumber any solid food!

If you love Dr. Pepper as much as i do, you best grab a cheap slab along with some yankee candy at USA Foods - http://www.usafoods.com.au

JAPANESE CURRY

2007-05-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

Japanese Curry with Tofu & Veggies is one of my staple dishes, since i discovered House brand Vermont Curry cubes that make it piss easy to get Japanese-y.

I made it for myself and my old man the other night, whom i later discovered asleep in front of the telly - a regular occurrence - his almost-finished bowl of curry still sitting in his lap.

One would think he hadn't enjoyed it. However, this Avant Card note turned up outside my door the next morning...

Unsurprisingly, i didn't exactly echo the sentiment for his meal creation the following night. I wouldn't know what to call it. Seafood Scrap Pasta? He used those weird bright-pink seafood extender things, on top of pasta with a jar of Lasagne Bake sauce...?! Men..!

NTH FITZ v TOFF IN TOWN

2007-05-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

NORTH FITZROY ARMS
296 Rae Street, North Fitzroy
http://www.northfitzroyarms.com.au/

The North Fitzroy Arms is situated just across the road from a site where my ancestors, the Turners, owned a pub in the early 1900's, pre-prohibition. I'm not sure what it was called back then, but must remember to quiz my grandmother who once showed me an old photograph, and will know more. For now, i will just speculate that it was a more interesting watering hole than it might have been... perhaps a front for a brothel, where seedy characters would swill liquor and boast about their crimes over a game of poker, or snap, or backgammon.. something ridiculous comme ça.

Who'd have thought there'd be a publican branch in my family tree? However, since there's bars in my bloodline, perhaps i'll continue the tradition someday, should i first develop enough self-control not to drink all the takings...

So on Saturday night i joined my father, brother and sister-in-law for dinner at the North Fitzroy Arms. The occasion was to farewell my Dad, who’s off to meet my Mum overseas, and to salute-from-afar, my Mum, for Mother's Day in her absence. Asides from getting stuck into Goats Cheese & Veggie Lasagne, there was also business to be done. Embarassingly, we had the most cluttered table in the house, with mail, bills, and tax returns spread all over the table, leaving little room for our meals... Errr, isn't there some old proverb, A family who sorts mail together, stays together…?

THE TOFF IN TOWN
Level 2, Curtin House
252 Swanston Street, Melbourne

The newest bar from the Revolver/Cookie gang, The Toff In Town is pretty well as posh as its name might suggest. I've been there two weekends in a row now, and fear it might become a regular haunt, and send my purse-strings all loose when i'm desperate to tighten them. You certainly wont get a pot of Carlton in this joint - you'll be lucky if you've heard of/can pronounce the names of any of the beers they serve - but a bit of Toff is just what the doctor of Curtin House ordered, especially if you can't stomach the thought of all the suited-up mongs just below at Cookie.

We hit the Toff Band Room (more of a Cabaret Room) for a birthday party, but i also answered an sms invitation and crashed my friends cute date in one of the ornate train carriage booths over in the other bar. I loved the weave doors that could be folded closed for more privacy, and that there's even a service bell for those who consider themselves too toffee to stand up and order. The ladies were getting stuck into a cheese platter as I closed the carriage doors in and joined them. I didn't try the cheese, but some of them smelt so bad they must have been good.

On through the doors...

SUSHI WORKSHOP

2007-05-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

It sure pays to enter competitions... My sister-in-law, Heidi, entered one in The Age's Epicure and won a Sushi Workshop which we had at my place on the weekend.

Shin Moriyama, Head Chef of Ume Nomiya and Yuzu Catering, came around with all the ingredients and implements and taught us how to make a couple of the simpler and most common types of sushi - Nigiri and Norimaki.

You could say I was the star pupil, managing to get less rice stuck to my hands as the others, and making what Shin said was professional quality Nigiri.

You will note that the below spread was made by the chef, and the next, by yours truly. Sure, mine's a bit scrappy, but pretty bloody alright for a first crack, aye?!

Nigiri: Salmon, Tuna and Kingfish.

Vegetarian Norimaki: Cucumber, Avocado and Shiitake Mushrooms.

UME NOMIYA
197 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy
http://www.umebar.com/

YUZU CATERING
http://www.yuzucatering.com/

CRAFT NIGHT SAMOSAS

2007-05-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

I hadn't been to a "Craft Night" before, but was more than happy to interpret it as a new excuse for a midweek drink.

Crafts included hand-drawn badgemaking, polaroid photography and match-stick fortunes... In addition, we sure perfected the craft of beer and wine swilling, cigarette puffing, and chin wagging. But the newest craft to be observed, of a culinary kind, were Samosas.

Big Ups to the Sushi Chef, who traded in the seaweed to fold up some samosas and share this guest recipe:

SAMOSAS

Dough:
Wholegrain Flour
Butter
Water
Oil

Filling:
Mixed Veggies - i.e. Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrot, Peas, etc.
Spices

Dipping Sauce: Whatever you like, really.

Directions: Just put it all together, do some origami chop chop and pan fry.

CALL OUT FOR DIM SIMS

2007-04-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

Dim sim market research: who makes the best dim sims in victoria? Dim sim fanatics Anna and Alex are trying to compile a 'top five dim sims in melbourne' list based on hearing about people's favourites.

It could be from your local servo or a homemade-y from a particular restaurant - whatever, from wherever, we'd love to hear your picks. Email your favourite dim sim locale and a brief description of the dimmy (why you love it) to: akelseysugg@hotmail.com

NOODLE STIRFRY

2007-04-20T03:52:00.000-07:00

So my Mum sent me this text message from Luzern, Switzerland...

"Hi, thanks 4 the call, I am sitting in the sun looking across the lake at the old town and Pilatus with snow on it. Absolutely gorgeous. Love Mum"

and i responded...

"Lucky you! I'm cooking stir fry, watching home and away, with melbourne in the background! Barely comparable. Enjoy and speak soon. xo"

Beef & Vegie noodle stirfry

YELLOW FIN TUNA NICOISE

2007-04-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

My Mum makes a mean Salade Niçoise, and it's a bit of a favourite.

On Sunday night, Momz had a new take on her usual niçoise, with Yellow Fin Tuna, seared briefly so it's just sealed, very rare and melts in your mouth. Sittin' on a bed of baby cos and rocket, potato, hard-boiled egg, green beans, asparagus, homemade sundried tomatoes, spanish onion, olives, and a soy mayonnaise-balsamic vinegar-flaxseed oil dressing.

Unfortunately there wont be much of Ma's cooking round here for a while - she's off to France for a three month stint... So this spoilt bitch better get ready to chuck on the apron and hit the kitchen!

EASTER CHOCOLATE

2007-04-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

With thanks to G&H for the cute Lindt chickens.

Cheers to "E.Bunnie" for the plush selection of KokoBlack chocolates.

KOKO BLACK
167 Lygon Street, Carlton (and other locations)
www.kokoblack.com

GOLDEN PLAINS ROTI WRAPS

2007-03-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

At the start of the Golden Plains festival, i gravitated towards one food stall. The banner out front read "HOTTIES EAT ROTI'S", so i followed instructions and did so, exclusively, the whole weekend. The beef red curry Roti Wrap was the favourite, and the vegie yellow curry wasn't bad. The breakfast wrap was a bit too much really. I didn't feel much like a hottie by the end of the dirty weekend.

The view from the Roti stall, following the last supper.

WOMEN'S DAY LASAGNE

2007-03-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

This blog has got me into trouble already. On International Women's Day, i was ordered to arrive at the dinner party earlier to help with Lasagne. Because of this blog, some of my friends are under the grand illusion that i can actually cook. I've never cooked lasagne in my life, and the most assistance i could offer was to phone my mother for bechamel sauce directions.

Our host - however flustered to begin with - did a marvelous job and made eight or ten ladies very full and happy.

Layering up.

The host.

Voilà... Vegie Lasagne with a side of Pear-shaped Tomato and Butter Bean salad.

The company was exquisite and exclusively female, asides from a male housemate who sniffed out the gender bias and took his rightful place, hidden away in the lounge room. I had taken a few guests by surprise, deciding to wear a dress and make like a lady for International Women's Day. It was noted that many of them had not seen me in a dress since the days of school uniforms. Or, heaven forbid... since the hideous purple latex pinafore-esque dress i donned at our school formal!

I head out in Collingwood afterwards. And nearly ate the concrete a few times trying to walk in girly shoes after a blury amount of beers.

Come morning, after a long night out on the turps, a Hangover Sandwich was desperately called for.

FISHING TRIP

2007-03-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

We had a fabulous Ladies Only Fishing Trip a few weekends ago down on the Bellarine Peninsula. Nine ladies, out at sea at the crack of dawn, brandishing rods and breakfast beers.... What could be better?!

The gang on the way to the pier...

One lass caught some coral and seaweed.

One caught a freekin baby stingray! Look at it's cute little face! Thrown back of course.

I almost caught this dude when i felt something heavy on my line, started reeling, and up popped the seal with my fish in its mouth. There was a momentary struggle, and unfortunately the seal won.

Luckily we caught some actual fish as well....

Leather Jacket.

Rass.

8am is Beer O'clock at sea.

After a couple of hours, the fish count was 17, including snapper, flathead, blue devils, parotfish, rass, leather jackets, and i can't remember what else.

We took our catch home, some whole and some fillited, and got stuck into it. They were cooked up in various ways, but here's one recipe that went down a treat:

VINYL LICKA'S FISH RECIPE

Hi Guys,

Here is the Famous Fish recipe...

I believe that any fish would be nice for this dish as long as it's fillited.

The recipe was originally made for Trevally fish, although these fish fillets are HUGE...

2 Limes
2 lemons
1/4 of a cup of Fish sauce
1/4 of a cup of Sweet chilli sauce
1 clove of garlic
1 table spoon of vegetable oil
Tubed lemon grass (Lemon grass in a tube)
2 tablespoons of butter
1 cup of flour
2 fillets of Trevally or 4 fillets of other fish

Firstly you will need to make the marinade.
In a cup you will need to
Squeeze 1 and 1/2 limes
Squeeze 1 lemon
A quarter of a cup of fish sauce
quarter of a cup of sweet chilli sauce
1 table spoon of Lemon grass
1 glove of garlic (crushed)
1 table spoon of veg oil

Give it a good stir. Place it in the fridge whilst you cook 2 table spoons of butter in a pan. Once butter is cooked put the butter in a bowl and put the marinade in another bowl. Get the fish fillets and soak them in the butter then place the fillets in the marinade. Leave the fillets in the marinade and put it in the fridge for a minimum of 20 minutes (Depending on how tasty you want it you can leave it in there for as long as you want). No longer then an hour...

When you feel it has marinated enough. Put a cup of flour in a bowl. Take the fish out of the marinate and cover it in flour both sides.

Heat up a fry pan. Place another tablespoon of butter in the pan. Wait till butter is all melted and the fry pan is hot. Place marinated floured fish fillets in the fry pan. whilst the fish is cooking, spread a bit more of the marinade on the fish whilst its cooking and squeeze a little bit more lemon on the fish each side. Cook each side for about 4 minutes each side till the fish is white, This will make it a melt in your mouth sensation.

Recommended avec pommes frites.

[More fishing photos at flickr]

SHARK FIN YUM CHA

2007-03-06T18:46:00.001-08:00

Shark Fin, 131 Little Bourke Street, Melbourne

My friend had a Sunday Yum Cha for her birthday at Shark Fin House in Chinatown. We feasted on a heap of Dumplings and Buns and Calamari and Chinese Broccoli and Desserts and Tea and Champagne.... and all for $18 a head! Shi-iiit. I'm a hafta do yum cha fortnightly i reckon. Shout out to my good friend Lazy Susan.

I felt the Curse of the Shellfish Blues again, and missed out on lotsa delish thangs. I took a bite into one particular dumpling, tasted prawn, and sneakily savoured its flavour for a moment before having to surrender the remainder to someone else.

Baskets & Teapots

Octopus

Dessert and Pink Champagne

Mango Custard Heart

The Dessert Trolley - check out that jelly! French jelly?

http://www.sharkfin.com.au/

Yum Cha was followed by a fabulously lax afternoon of cuppas and reading the paper in what i dubbed NoCa [North Carlton], after a discussion as to what SoHo stood for. Is it South of Houston?

The day flew by and we tucked into Pumpkin Soup as an evening chill set in.

Regrettably, i had to retire early to do some work, but i was suitably pleased that this be the walk that's to and fro our houses... Due South up my street for blocks and blocks of palm littered median and mouthwatering two-storied terraces. Yum.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT?

2007-03-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

I had the most grandiose vision for an afternoon snack while I procrastinated over a BAS statement… I was envisaging a magnificent swirling birds nest of Angel Hair that housed in the centre, a Poached Egg, dripped with a Wasabi-Hollandaise hybrid.

It didn’t quite turn out the way it looked in my imagination. The pasta, which was already cooked, had been broken up, and was incapable being trained into the wild spiral I had planned for it. I had mushrooms that needed using, so reheated the pasta in a mushroom mustard cream sauce. I got lazy about the hollandaise idea and just mixed up some wasabi and soy mayo.

Anyway… here you have it…

This shit was totally too intense. Borderline sickening. And not very attractive to look at. In retrospect... In future... I'd keep the pasta ultra plain, allowing for the yolk to spill through it as you eat.

BREAKIE

2007-02-25T18:30:00.000-08:00

Breakfast most days is H.J.Tilson's homemade muesli - at its best when soaked overnight, and complimented with whatever fresh fruit or yoghurt be layin' around in the fridge.

A long tall cuppa tea on the side is imperative...

The setting is seldom at the kitchen table over the paper...

More often than not, at the desk...

And very occasionally, breakfast in bed is called for...

STUFFED CHICKEN BREAST

2007-02-21T23:29:00.000-08:00

A few of my friends kindly moved onto the same street as me, albeit way down the north end. We had midweek dinner and beers and wine and weed and chats and smokos and wine and more wine..

I managed to get out of helping, with the charming quip, "Can i do anything to help? Or... should i just step outside for a cigarette?!"

For dinner we had Stuffed Chicken Breast with Pesto and a delicious salad.

Firstly, how cute is this apron?!

Stuffing chicken tits

Searing the chicken

Can you spot the former waitress with her three-stacked plates? This lady and i used to wait tables at Taco Bill, Clifton Hill together many years ago. Unfortunately... i haven't retained such a skill.

Bon appetite!

Here is the recipe that was used:
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/13777/stuffed+chicken+breasts+with+pesto

MATTEOS

2007-02-21T23:28:00.000-08:00

533 Brunswick Street, North Fitzroy

Beforehand: the young drink milk and the old drink Veuve Cliquot!

Steamed rice noodle ‘cannelloni’ filled with ‘baba ghanoush’ eggplant puree, tempura okra, miso béchamel sauce.

‘Aiguillette’ of twice cooked duck breast, Peking cabbage filled with Asian flavours, duck sauce with hoisin.

Puff pastry ‘pithivier’ filled with Moroccan braised lamb shoulder & fetta, ‘floated’ in a pea sauce, garlic & rosemary foam.

Crème brulee, tropical fruit salsa between sable biscuits, coconut milk gelato.

Warm crepe roulade with pistachio nougat ricotta, cinnamon ice cream.

Domaine de Durban, Beaumes de Venise muscat --- this is my favourite drop of ALL TIME. Heaven in a bottle, for real!

http://www.matteos.com.au/

BEVERAGES

2007-02-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

Dr. Pepper is king....

Ahhh, the kind of beer you can drink at work!

MILKSHAKE MONDAY

2007-02-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

I had a farewell milkshake date at Fairfield Boathouse today with my nephew, my brother and my (newly announced) sister-in-law-to-be. It was bittersweet chocolate milk.

SALMON SUNDAY

2007-02-18T04:48:00.000-08:00

This was my deluxe hangover snack on sunday afternoon; mini bagels, cream cheese, smoked salmon, spanish onion and cornichons:

Perhaps i'd have held back on the salmon if i knew that the entrée come dinner time would be Salmon Gravalax. I first got a taste of this in Stockholm at my brother's ex-girlfriends house, and her parents have since passed down the recipe. Gravalax is a cured salmon with to-die-for dill sauce.

For those into their salmon, i will happily forward the recipe courtesy of the Swede's, who oh-so-cutely emailed it through as the 'receipt' for gravalax.

In the aftermath of our gravalax and lamb salad (not pictured), there was a collective passout, on for young and old.

POOLSIDE FISH

2007-02-16T02:26:00.000-08:00

Date: Monday 13th February, 2007

Location: North Melbourne

Company: Town Planner, Victoria Police Media Officer, and Black Cat.

Consumed: Champagne, Barramundi dip, Cod on the Barbie, Salad with Croutons and Bocconcini.

Discussed: US Holiday, tossing up Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Olympia, Portland, Kansas, Las Vegas, Savannah, New York, Philadelphia, Washington DC...

POST-WEDDING DINNER

2007-02-16T02:24:00.000-08:00

So my brother got married at the weekend and had a cupcake wedding cake. I'd like to say they stole the idea from me, but i'm afraid it was sorta the other way around. You could say about my cake, You call that a knife? Well... This is a knife!

After the wedding we came home for a big dinner with the whole immediately family and my brother's new in-laws. I've been having allergic reactions to shellfish the last few years. So unfortunately i couldn't eat these lobster tails and prawns, but the coriander chilli scallop salad was delicious.

BIG HARVEST

2007-02-01T03:24:00.000-08:00

151 Elgin St, Carlton

Pictured (clockwise) : polenta stack, lentil mint & feta salad, bean & tomato salad, organic cola, stuyvesant cigarette, empty soy latte glasses, lentil salad, potato & dill salad, spinach & feta filo.

http://www.bigharvest.com.au/

RECORD CUPCAKECAKE

2007-02-01T03:11:00.000-08:00

I have to be careful what promises i make when i'm drunk, because i can't stand the thought of going back on my word. With countless bogan bourbons, rums and whiskeys down my throat at a Peaches show few weeks ago, I said i'd happily bake a birthday cake for DJ Amy from Macromantics.

Hungover the next afternoon i whipped up some chocolate cupcakes rather than a cake. I've had this fantasy lately that cupcakes could be so awesome with certain lollies and chocolates in them - reese's pieces in particular - but i haven't been able to make it work as yet. This time i used both regular and peanut m&m's and the mixture wasn't thick enough, so the bastards just sank to the bottom. Given Amy is a DJ, i thought it fitting that the cupcakes be presented on a record, so i pulled out a 50c opp shop rekkid and gluegunned the suckers down to it.

Here are some photos of the birthday 'cake' coming together, as well as its surprise delivery onstage at the Prince of Wales.

Nostalgic part - A few years back i used to make muffins and cupcakes a lot. Generally when i was angry or stressed. I don't know that i'm particularly angry at the moment.... but... anyway. I remember a specific time when my brother had an incident whilst parking my folks car in the CBD. He'd zipped into a parking space that some dude reckoned he had dibs on. The guy honked and hollered, and when my brother returned later from shopping, he found that every single panel on the car had been keyed... so the fucker had actually walked a circle around the car scratching the whole way. It was my parent's car (they were away at the time), and my bro came home fairly upset. I was so angry that someone could have been so angry about something so trivial as a parking space that i made muffins. Ahhh, sweet baking relief.

VUE DE MONDE

2007-01-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

430 Little Collins Street, Melbourne

Vue De Monde used to be just up the road on the corner of Drummond and Faraday Streets, Carlton, but recently moved to the the city. I'd heard lots about its infamous degustation menu and it seemed everyone in my family had been countless times, yet somehow i'd never had an invite. In exclaiming so and arranging one, it was pointed out that a year or so prior, there had been a 'New Beginnings' lunch at Vue De Monde that i had failed to commit to. Probably having planned a big night prior and anticipating i would be too hungover to deal with schmick table service, french accents and intense flavours.

It had already long been a not-so-funny joke between my family that i'd never made it to a 'New Beginnings' lunch, that i was too lazy and couldn't get out of bed for a new beginning. Most notably i missed one at the Windsor in 1999 before i was due to start VCE, which my mum would now say was an omen, that set the tone for my going on to just scrape the barrel and pass.

But finally i made it to Vue Du Monde in November for lunch with my mother, brother and sister-in-law to be. It was the last day of their lunch special - 2 courses, wine & coffee for about $40 a head. Very cheap by comparison to their regular très cher menu.

It wasn't exactly dubbed a new beginnings affair this time around, but glasses were chinked to recenlty becoming a grandmother, an uncle and aunties. To my brother's promotion to executive somethingorother. To the upcoming wedding. And i probably jokingly charged my glass at being 'single and ready to mingle'!

Ocean Trout Tartare with Gnocchi and Baby Sorrel

Crazy tomato consommé drink with dry ice that was fizzing around & smoking out the top

Lamb Pistachio sirloin

John Dory

Petits-Fours - blueberry popcorn up the end was killer!

In their new location, asides from Vue Du Monde, they've opened adjoining cheaper incarnations, Bistro Vue and Cafe Vue. Apparently there's a special Cocktail Night on Fridays offering 5 courses and 5 matching cocktails at $75 a head - presumably they're degustation-style courses and taster-size cocktails, or it could land you full to the eyeballs.

If anyone wants to join me for cocktails and french food sometime, or has a new beginning to mark, then holler at me, i'm keen for an escargot or two. Don't even talk to me if you're vegetarian or vegan!

http://www.vuedemonde.com.au/

MOON OVER MIAMI topped with Organic Barossa Bacon & Canadian Maple Syrup

2007-01-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

On those nights when no one could be bothered to cook in my household as a kid, Moon Over Miami was always a favourite, second only to toasted cheese and baked beans or tinned spaghetti sandwiches.
Moon Over Miami - otherwise known as Egg in a Hole, Toad in a Hole, amongst other things - is simply an egg fried in a piece of bread with a hole torn out of the middle.
My take on it this time around draws from that fact that it's practically a lazy version of French Toast and goes brilliantly with Maple Syrup. But with the monstrous hangover i'm nursing, it would have been remiss of me not to marry the eggs with bacon. The only stuff in the fridge was super-thin organic bacon, which went down a treat.
The trick is to cook the eggs pretty lightly, so that the yolk runs when you cut into it. Just look at it oozing out, would ya?! Looks revolting, but it was just what the doctor ordered for my weary soul on Australia Day.

Sidenote: I found a list of Moon Over Miami monikers on Wikipedia... Some of the good ones were Black-Eyed Susan, Yolk Doughnut, Humpty In The Wall and my favourite, Ghetto Omelette! Say what you like though wikipedia, it'll always be Moon Over Miami to me.