HAWAII PART 1: COCKTAILS

Aloha! It’s time to move on from terrible plane food and into some Hawaiian Cocktails. Let me start by saying that Hawaii (Honolulu and Oahu) was the total surprise package of the trip. I’d never given Hawaii much thought, much less ever planned to go there. But when the cheapest means of getting to Mainland USA proved to be via Hawaii, I certainly wasn’t complaining! And I loved it.
Now that I'm back in the tedious swing of real life at home, I’m often catching myself in Waikiki daydreams..... taking a dip in the blue-green ocean, all the while admiring the unbeatable view of Diamond Head. Before wrapping a towel around my hips and sitting down for a juicy cocktail and another breathtaking sunset.
Just a few non-foodie photos first to set the scene:


Is this a great [out-the-plane-window] photo, or what?!





LAVA FLOW
At The Royal Hawaiian, 2259 Kalakaua Avenue, Honolulu
The very first thing we ingested in Hawaii was, ever-appropriately, a cocktail on the beach. We head to the massive Pink Palace known as The Royal Hawaiian, and sat in their open-air Mai Tai Bar.
Waiting for the cocktail menu, we took a moment to relax, take in the view, and sink-in the surreal nature of suddenly being in fucking Hawaii.. on Monday at Midday.. when the rest of you sons of bitches are at work. Ha! Sucked in!
So rather than a Mai Tai - which I had recently read isn’t even Hawaiian and rather from Oakland! - we opted for another signature cocktail, “The Lava Flow”, which had a swirl of strawberry around its edges.


The Lava Flow: White Rum, Bananas & Coconut, blended with an eruption of Strawberry

We only had one cocktail, but the Lava Flow would keep on giving, and serve as a fabulous “in-joke” for the rest of the trip. You see, later that afternoon I received a generous gift in the form of my period – yeah, exactly what I wanted at the beach-beginnings of our holiday! Such an affliction would thereafter be referred to, in code, as "ones Lava Flow”.

We soon decided a munchie was in order and ordered some Nachos, giving Marika her first introduction to the American phenomenon of Orange Cheese. To my surprise, she loved it.




THE WIPEOUT
At The Aloha Surf Hotel, 444 Kanekapolei Street, Honolulu
When we searched for accommodation in Waikiki, one of the major selling points and the eventual decider for us was that the Aloha Surf Hotel had a Manager’s Reception on Tuesdays that featured their signature drink, “The Wipeout”.
In the lead-up to our trip, Marika and I regularly made reference to it. “[However-many] sleeps and we’ll be drinking Wipeouts in Hawaii!” we exclaimed excitedly. Such was our excitement to be in Hawaii, that we somehow actually forgot about the Wipeout and wandered back one afternoon to the heavenly sight of guests sitting around sipping bright blue cocktails.



The barman was a dude, and not only gave a rad Hang Ten for my photo, but was also nice enough to divulge the cocktail's "secret" ingredients.


The Wipeout: Vodka, Blue Curacao, Pineapple Juice & Coconut Cream

We adjourned to the Poolside to drink our Wipeouts, which were small in size, but jeez… were those bastards strong! Marika went back for seconds and I decided, rather uncharacteristically, that it might just be true to its name and wipe me out completely. It was only 6pm, after all - hold your horses!




SAND BAR & GRILL
At The Waikiki Sand Villa Hotel, 2375 Ala Wai Blvd, Honolulu
It’d be remiss of me not to mention the Sand Bar, where we drank as our last pit stop, every single night in Hawaii. You were welcome to use their internet terminals if you ordered a drink, and that we did. I got stuck into some Canadian Club & Cokes, remembering again the dangers of drinking Spirits in America… a heavy-handed free pour of liquor, and a very light splash of “soda” if you’re lucky.
Located directly across from our hotel, we decided we’d spent so much time in this joint; we may as well just stay there on our return trip. No Wipeouts at the Sand Villa, but it was cheaper anyway.


Drunk on the Internet – a Recipe for Disaster!

ROADSIDE FRUIT STALL
Somewhere on the East Coast of Oahu
We decided to give touristy Waikiki a wide berth for the day, hired a car and drove half the coast of Oahu Island. In between snorkeling stops, we came across a cute little Fruit Stall by the side of the road.





We grabbed some Star-Fruit, and Marika picked up a Coconut. It filled me with great confidence when, not only was she driving on the right-hand-side for the very first time, but juggling a coconut as well!



Once the Coconut Milk was sucked dry, we couldn’t resist cracking the shell in half and having a bit of fun indulging our notion of Hawaiian fashion.




Aloha Coconut Bra (and Banana too!)

[There are a few beachside eats and drinks missing, cos I couldn’t tuck my camera in my bikini while I swam. Props to Moana Surfrider for the Mai Tai’s. And to the Outrigger Reef for the banana lounges on the beach, and the Mahi-Mahi Sandwich that taught Marika the valuable lesson that what we folk know as a “Sandwich” can actually, in American, translate to a “Burger”].